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...Talk To Me...

...Talk To Me...
Photo Information
Copyright: Ay Da (chiaraluna) Gold Star Critiquer/Gold Star Workshop Editor/Gold Note Writer [C: 421 W: 90 N: 411] (1897)
Genre: People
Medium: Black & White
Date Taken: 2005-05
Categories: Mood, Portrait
Camera: Toshiba PDR-4300
Exposure: f/2.8
Details: Tripod: Yes
Photo Version: Original Version
Theme(s): Special portraits, *Textures Of The Heart* [view contributor(s)]
Date Submitted: 2005-06-24 5:37
Viewed: 3219
Favorites: 6 [view]
Points: 74
[Note Guidelines] Photographer's Note
why wont you..

miss me.. why don't you..

want me.. you used to..

love me...


last night was a bad night..so i needed to do something to let it out... now what do i do about tonight!?

did this in a few minutes in a kind of instinctive process following my emotions.. chose a picture i'd taken a few weeks ago in another rather confused and perplexed moment.. cropped it this way and with much negative space to express a sense of disconnction, loneliness and endless searching into the wilderness for relief.. made b&w and high key using the channel mixer and added a canvas texture which seemed to echo the raw, rough textures of an aching heart and confused state of mind and just felt right...

i know some people don't like or understand the need for certain post processing some of us favour doing in our portraits and such.. but there's something about the process itself.. the applying of layers and textures the way a painter would on a canvas.. somehow this helps me feel 'in touch' with the image and helps me pour my heart and emotions into it... that's what it's like for me anyway... i just wanted to explain this for those who see PP as something that diminishes the purity or soul of a photo... for many of us it's exactly the opposite and often allows our souls to speak more clearly... :-)

and in response to several requests.. i promise my next self portrait will be an especially 'revealing' one! that is.. no monotone, no effects and 'revealing' my natural hair and eye colour.. oh and also just for you lovely people who've supported me so much.. (wait for it.. drum roll please..) a smile! ihih ^_^

oh and before i go back to sleep.. i hope you wont get fed up with me and my melancholy moods.. i'm not trying to be a sad sack! just trying to work things out in the only way i can right now.. doing these portraits is very hard for me but it helps me express myself and find some release and also deal with my life long negative self image problems... grabbing the self esteem bull by the horns so to speak :-) so it's very important 'therapy' for me.. therefor please don't worry.. i'm fighting all of this and however hard it is i'm not planning to give in...

hugs to all ^_^

calamaro, alagoa, balkermay, letr, yerevantsi, lancegreen, Quark, Fisher, nova, Werewolf, Dingo, stecotdon, ritual, drymd29, mariajosecon, Fortuna has marked this note useful
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Critiques [Translate]

wonderful, it's true, you use PP instrument like a painter, and art is to put out from your inside emotions and feelings, and you did perfectly here, this is magnifique...

da una parte mi fa sentire male vedere foto così belle perché mi chiedo se riuscirò mai a farne anche io, ma da un'altra mi fanno sentire proprio bene, come tutte le opere d'arte....


Ahhhh, my favourite made it here.
I won't say a word, just let me enjoy it once more ;-)
I love it. My most sincere congratulations on this one Ayda.


Well done Ayda.... all in this post is well done....

Ayda...this is another great portrait of you. I like the canvas effect...i can't paint or draw but to make photos gives to feel like a painter and you brings it so well Ayda. Thanks to share this painting ;-) with us.

Hugs to you Ayda :-)


  • Great 
  • fer Gold Star Critiquer/Gold Star Workshop Editor/Gold Note Writer [C: 741 W: 119 N: 910] (8190)
  • [2005-06-24 5:56]

Simple and beautiful!!!
Well done,

Hello Ayda...I think that this photo is the one of your masterpieces...Post-process here is really helpful to understand the complicated emotions that I could not explain... The harmony of the note and expression of it are great...Excellent, Excellent, Excellent...


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  • letr Gold Star Critiquer/Gold Star Workshop Editor/Gold Note Writer [C: 1134 W: 420 N: 1093] (6670)
  • [2005-06-24 6:19]

looks great to me Ayda,like the negative space on the right here !!

Very beautiful Ayda :)
The compo and the PP are almost perfect.
Sad or curious look :)

  • Great 
  • edie Gold Star Critiquer [C: 659 W: 0 N: 0] (0)
  • [2005-06-24 6:32]

Your selfportrait become more and more interesting and beauty of course,I agree with you about pp,I feel the same thing when I'm working.I think you just do better day by day as well as you take more consciousness of yourself,I'm asking where you'll arrive...I hope phisically here,I'll wait you and with mind anywhere.
I can say only I love your artistic soul,and è una bellisssima immagine di te.
Take care
Ps scusami se non ti ho ancora risposto alla mail,è un periodo di lavoro intenso questo,ma son contenta che tu venga,ti aspetto presto (Todi è molto vicina a me ;-)))

Hello Ayda,
Very beautiful.. I know I only use this word for your portraits.. but I can not find any other..
Best wishes..

You look so sad but very beautiful here, Ayda!
The PP is very artistic and not less adorable :)
The high key and canvas work are super!
I'm wating for your revealing one ;)

Ayda, a great portrait and a super expression on your face. You look lovely.
I gather that you are going to Todi, beautiful town. I hope you will have a nice time

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  • Maru Gold Star Critiquer [C: 471 W: 0 N: 0] (0)
  • [2005-06-24 7:25]

I love the pp work, Ayda! It gives the composition a very special touch (you know I love pp work!!).
As I told you before I think that this is a very touching portrait, that asks questions and demands answers. But sometimes we have to discover that we've been knocking in the wrong door.

With Digital Art, we can do what we like. 80-years ago, photography was considered non-art, now look at it - oh how perceptions change. So for those folks who moan about the purity of photographic representation, I say boll*cks!

Phew! That's better. I'll get off my soap box now.

Your PP is exceptional, and keep doing what you do.

Your Greatest Fan,


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  • Quark Gold Star Critiquer/Silver Workshop Editor [C: 1314 W: 11 N: 29] (66)
  • [2005-06-24 7:31]

Always like your pics, your notes and your PP-work, Ayda !
Also this one, it's a simple composition, a lot of emptiness and you as a part of it.
And okay, I won't worry about you:-)) but please, take care for yourself, my friend...
Waiting for the next image:-))

You have expressed yourself very well in this composition.
Art is and always will be an expression of one's being.
Here at Trek L. is a place of art where people are free to do manipulations to images. It's a place for me to learn about people as I am not used to this medium, wildlife/nature is my medium and I feel natural and part of it.
Images like this masterpiece is what I learn from, poses, moods etc. Thanks for sharing your emotions with us and thanks for letting go the emotions, that's healing.
As the image shows, keep looking up, even though "He" may seem miles away, "He" does care for you. Nough said. :) :)

Splendid image.


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  • nova Gold Star Critiquer/Gold Star Workshop Editor/Gold Note Writer [C: 2441 W: 250 N: 873] (8693)
  • [2005-06-24 9:41]

Another beautiful portrait from a selfportrait master! I love the canvas texture that fits perfectly well with that kind of picture! This is very well done,Ayda! Bravo! Michel

Hey Ayda, this is a trully beautiful image! By putting yourself so in the edge you express very well your out of the mod feeling, your sadness, like if the world was putting you aside. I understand very well your ''therapy'' I used the same process at the beginning of my journey here at Trek Lens. But even I don't know you personnaly, let me say that: you are a beautiful person, to create such beautiful images, show lots of sensibility and inner beauty! And your are also a true beauty outside! So let the life take you by the hand and walk with her to happiness. You deserve it! : )

Very simple picture with a texture effect! Workfull! Even without the texture it would be very nice too!
Picture is therapeutic? Hummm in a lot of way. I admit till the 5 years i do it on a regular base, it bring me a lot... Powerfull way to express so many things!

Even half your face is a full expression...!

In anxious waiting for your next upload, we have this semi portrait to get us through the time till the moment supreme...

I like what you write about the PP work. The discussion about PP on a photo exists as long as it is possible to digitize photo's...

I read a line in a forum once, from a professional photographer. He was afraid, one day it would not be possible to tell good photographers and good photoshoppers apart...

I guess thats the whole point, defenders of the conventional techniques have a feeling that doing pp work is an easy way of achieving good results with a photo... well I am not so sure about that ;)!

But you said it yourself, you can feel in touch with the photo in a pp job. In my earlier days I used to paint oil paintings (even sold something now and then!) To me, digital PP work on a photo gives pleasure as a painter as well as a photographer... Two worlds are combined!

And sure, with digital manipulation things can be done now, which were before not possible...!

Great portrait! Great work. Perfect composition. Could be a cover for a CD. Cool!

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  • biblio Gold Star Critiquer/Gold Note Writer [C: 523 W: 6 N: 225] (2498)
  • [2005-06-24 16:01]

One day we shall see the "whole" of you Ayda until then we'll have to make do with these masterpieces. Great work


Fantastic note. I agree pp-ing a self portrait can help you let go of your emotions and allows expressive creation. Painters do it all the time. The negative space is good and relates well to the way you are feeling at the moment. I see just a part of you in the composition, the unsure part of you. Your self esteem will return, hopefully in the next smiling portrait.

Just wonderful - and that's what TL is about - a community of people who are there to help and comfort each other. This is pure artistry! Cheers, David

Wow!! You are an artist! Don't worry about your moods...we all have 'em and you captured it so nicely in this portrait. I love what you did with PP! The framing is perfect and you are pretty too.
Feel better.
PS: It's great to have a medium such as photography to get your emotions out. I'll look forward for your future posts!

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  • Dingo Gold Star Critiquer/Gold Star Workshop Editor/Gold Note Writer [C: 2505 W: 368 N: 2626] (11966)
  • [2005-06-24 19:16]

Well Ayda, don't ever give in! And even if posting and processing pictures like this one would only be therapy for you, it always leaves us with very interesting pictures to look at - to say the least.
I like what you did with this one, but I'm looking forward to seeing you in colour, with a smile!
If you ever need to "talk", drop me a mail ;o).

HI Sweet heart!! I'm back!!! And I have a surprise for you (no bears, unfortunately :( ) ;))) You'll see.
Such a lovely portrait. I realaly like the canvs effect. makes it a bit more distat I think, and very artistic. And you look beautiful in the pictures. The expression in your eyes are so intense and so full of emotions... Really beautiful dear. Nd I undestand the PP. For me it's a way to keep "private" most of the times, and at the same time, one can show even more, in the "illusion" of protection, one gives more.
Congrats again in another wonderful work.

Big hugs, Stef

ps: I LOVE my card :) THX SOOOOOO much! And I'll tell all the tales, for sure.

Take care sweetie and be well.

ayda, i do love the expression and the texture in this makes me think of an old crumpled piece of paper...kinda like you've been tossed aside...i like that for this photo!

I learned a lot from Edie and, now, I feel that I'm staring to learn, also from you, the possibility of transferring fragments of soul into a picture.

In the reality, the picture is just a mean, like the red color for a painter.
Then there is the blur, then the texture, then the words of the note.

The subject is definitely a mood.

In this moment, there are three subjects that are appealing for me: portraits, human bodies, and moods.

This picture is strong and sad. (Actually, both things, are not surprising). However, it's very important that the eyes of the girl are not looking the ground: they are looking the sky.

I would have titled this picture "Do not even try to think that I'm giving up".

Un abbraccio


Dramatic shot Ayda, I had to watch it many times before to be able to write something. Nothing about your technique which is very high, instead I see you are almost invisible (the crop and the the edge of your face which fade into the canvas on background) but not hiding yourself, maybe to be transparent?


You can make yourself look very beautiful on pictures! :)
So sorry to read those sad lines at the beginning...

I directly understand this! It's a mirror to my fears.
Going into talking and for all being vulnerable!
The picture is great in saying this to me.
Thanks to you Ayda.

Gracias por tus comentarios, son valiosos para mí, más viniendo de alguien como tú que atesora unas fabulosas fotografías, entra las cuales esta es mi favorita...

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  • salil Gold Star Critiquer/Silver Workshop Editor/Gold Note Writer [C: 573 W: 17 N: 295] (2116)
  • [2006-07-11 9:38]

In what could very well be termed a previous existence ... so many many years back ... I knew a beautiful woman and like so many beautiful women, she was sad and melancholy. You have her eyes ...
Some day, I might post a picture of her ... If I can find one ...

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  • lavan Gold Star Critiquer/Gold Note Writer [C: 710 W: 2 N: 153] (4208)
  • [2008-03-05 2:12]

nice shot
good photoshop work

Magnificent Ayda!!
María José

Here I see a true and wonderful work of art.

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