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...No End In Sight...


...No End In Sight...
Photo Information
Copyright: Ay Da (chiaraluna) Gold Star Critiquer/Gold Star Workshop Editor/Gold Note Writer [C: 421 W: 90 N: 411] (1897)
Genre: People
Medium: Black & White
Date Taken: 2005
Categories: Portrait
Camera: Toshiba PDR-4300
Details: Tripod: Yes
Photo Version: Original Version
Theme(s): *Textures Of The Heart*, Potraits [view contributor(s)]
Date Submitted: 2005-10-27 7:25
Viewed: 3395
Points: 50
[Note Guidelines] Photographer's Note
...

Hope was but a timid friend;
She sat without the grated den,
Watching how my fate would tend,
Even as selfish-hearted men.

She was cruel in her fear;
Through the bars, one dreary day,
I looked out to see her there,
And she turned her face away!

Like a false guard, false watch keeping,
Still, in strife, she whispered peace;
She would sing while I was weeping;
If I listened, she would cease.

False she was, and unrelenting;
When my last joys strewed the ground,
Even Sorrow saw, repenting,
Those sad relics scattered round;

Hope, whose whisper would have given
Balm to all my frenzied pain,
Stretched her wings, and soared to heaven,
Went, and ne'er returned again.

~ Emily Bronte


it's been a bad few days for many reasons.. and the tunnel i hoped to have begun exiting by now still feels very long and dark and lonely and with no end in sight... but last night after many tears there came the desire to create something to express this state of mind and soul.. to try to heal the wounds some way... it's a thing that has been rather absent in me for a while and i've hardly touched a camera or any other creative tool for months... so maybe feeling this desire again is one light that can come out of even the darkest tunnels... maybe that can be the little spark of hope and purpose that can often seems so lost...

love and hugs to everyone.. and im sorry to post something sad when we're all already feeling so sorrowful... there have just been some very painful emotions brewing in me that really needed release... hope that's ok

Ayda

jafsc, mwebr, Maria74, lancegreen, fotofrancis, Dingo, GoogolGuy, balkermay, tashi-wangmo, traveller, persimon, erdna, marcocig, wck, harpya, rychousmama has marked this note useful
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Critiques [Translate]

  • Great 
  • jafsc Gold Star Critiquer/Silver Workshop Editor/Gold Note Writer [C: 445 W: 47 N: 88] (4688)
  • [2005-10-27 7:34]

La luz aparece al fin del tunel Ayda, y tu obra creativa es el mejor remedio para esas lagrimas.
Fotografia llena de emociones y que tienes el valor de compartir. Gracias por hacerlo.
José

I am moved by this photo and note. It is so personal. Thank u for sharing and hope that it will help you even a little :)
Remember: nothing lasts enternally, even bad times. Hugs.
stenia

Ayda, I'm quite sure that this trip to Italy will deeply change your way to see life and to give the "right" weight to things around you. The fact you needed to express your feelings again, as u mentioned, is the first little light toward that direction.
yours

Marco

ps Your shot is really one of the best in my opinion...

the portrait is touching and with a strog mood....
but for your first selfportrait from Italy I'd like to look a smiling one.....
But I hope again this happens.... ;-)))
Paolo

Ayda, it's another masterpiece of yours - I love almost all your works. And this one cries out loud the feelings that you have written in your note, being so simple. I am amazed.

Marek

P.S. Stenia has written the truth - give yourself the time - nothing last eternally. Even bad times...

Beautiful work dear, as always. I hope that spark of creativity and words you will get from many of us makes your burden a little less heavy to carry upon your gentle shoulders and soul. There is a proverb in my country that says...cry when it's sunny, and smile when it's raining...because the course of nature and things is perpetual, and bad things are always followed by better ones.
take care dear, I wish you the best
M.

beatuiful photo and touching note. Very powerful. Sometimes our pain is our biggest inspiration. Very nice. I hope you feel better. JP

Ciao Ayda,
Read what I wrote to Frederic here. Release the pain, and make room for a joyful release too. Get that creativity back in your hands.
Abbracci...
"Suh"

P.S. Excellent Bronte text!
P.P.S. What Paolo said about smiling :-)

Hello Ayda,

I am touched and moved by your photograph and note. The image expresses your feelings quite well and is very well done. Thanks for sharing your feelings and the products of those feelings with us. I wish you the best and pray that smiles come your way very soon. Take care Ayda.
Kevin

  • Great 
  • edie Gold Star Critiquer [C: 659 W: 0 N: 0] (0)
  • [2005-10-27 13:39]

Ayda,my dear,even in your sadness there is something of you that shines, don't permitt anyone to kill it,you have,I'm sure,the key for make free yourself,you are strong enought to go on and leave the past to the past.You have so many things to gift to the person who is ready for receive them.
This is what I feel looking at your lovely portrait.
Big hugs
Edie

Oh my dear...what can we do to help you Ayda. When read this I feel sad to, but I hope we of TL can bring light in your life Ayda and the photo of today is for you my dear.
About your photo is another great composition...you are one of the best my dear.

Hugs for you Ayda.

Jos

  • Great 
  • padre Gold Star Critiquer/Gold Star Workshop Editor [C: 1419 W: 90 N: 263] (4035)
  • [2005-10-27 18:51]

I love the grain and tones. Very well done. B

  • Great 
  • nova Gold Star Critiquer/Gold Star Workshop Editor/Gold Note Writer [C: 2441 W: 250 N: 873] (8693)
  • [2005-10-27 20:03]

Interesting self portrait,Ayda! The big grain gives a nice artistic touch to the photo! Still a bit sad but...I will wait for the sun! Great shot! Michel

Difficulties and trapped i that tunnel of yours is not what I see in this image. I understand where you are coming from, but this image shouts louder...

This shouts SHAME! The covering of your face in your hands, hiding your eyes from those who may scrutinise your actions. This is further enhanced by the composition allowing your face to dive out of the frame.

As always, wonderful work from you.

PS. Just read your intro... I am pleased that you upped tracks and sent yourself to Italy at last. I am sure you will get settled soon

Take Care Dear Ayda,

Lance

Hi Ayda,
Oh...sorry to hear things still suck. But, atleast you are home in Italy. And in Umbria...maybe you can get out and say hi to a nice Italian lady by the name of "Edie." I'm sure she'd make a great pal for you...especially moving to a new place...always good to have someone familiar there. Anyhow, glad to see you picking up your camera...seems its time for a release. I hope your work helps you with the pain you have to deal with.
Take care.
Richard

Of course it's more than Ok dear Ayda. We all need to realise these feelings, and nothing better than through the medium of high art. Thank you so... this poem is so poinant in it's expression... her writings one of my favourites...

I hope this process has left you wanting to do more and turn the camera to those little wonders that glide past you ever day, but perhaps until now you have missed...

I too had a good cry the night before last. I watched the "Last Samurai" and at the end when Tom Cruises character (actually was very happy with the way he played the character) is said to possible get the peace he had missed though so much war... it opened some wish in me for peace which I still feel that I do not allow myself...

Hugs of warmth in return my friend, and good feelings to all our friends.

  • Great 
  • Dingo Gold Star Critiquer/Gold Star Workshop Editor/Gold Note Writer [C: 2505 W: 368 N: 2626] (11966)
  • [2005-10-28 5:18]

Sure that's okay, Ayda. I'm always amazed by your ability to convey your emotions, even when half of your head isn't in the shot. B&w is one reason, but you are a very good model too. Hope your tunnel won't be too long anymore. TFS.

the mood is so strong...your work is fantastic and i know i can hepl...i think that i can understand cause i´m like that too and trying to repress it doesn´t bring anything,try to let it out...cause through your work i think that you´re way stronger as what you might think, and i´m sure you´ll make it
Huge hug and many kisses,
tashi.

  •      
  • Tintin Gold Star Critiquer/Gold Star Workshop Editor [C: 1885 W: 243 N: 345] (1982)
  • [2005-11-01 20:10]

Beautifully done, Ayda, with such great emotions coming out of this picture. The pose, the grain, the B&W, the empty space on the left; everything brings the feeling of sadness. Excellent!

P.S. I hope you are doing better by now and that the end of the tunnel is appearing brighter to you.

Sorry, I have run out of green smile for the day!

Hi sweetie,

Such a sad portrait... Beautiful and touching, but sad...
Well, adaptation period is hard and I'm sure good things will come for you.
And i hope this is a starting point for creative wave for you. The fact that you reacted and registered your first impressions (even if not perfectly happy ones) it's a sign that the light is there and you will reach it. maybe it'll take more time than you expected, but it'll come.

Great work as always, very well done and full of meaning.

beautiful my dear!!!!

Take care of yourself and be well

Hige hugs (PB ones of course ;)) for you, Stefania :))

  •      
  • persimon Gold Star Critiquer/Silver Workshop Editor/Gold Note Writer [C: 378 W: 49 N: 337] (2406)
  • [2005-11-03 21:48]

I almost feel bad for looking in on this personal facet of your like, but at the same time, I want to reach out to you. You image conveys much emotion. You can't see your face and the noise is agitating. Very emotive work. I can't say anything else for fear it will sound silly and cliche.

Wonderful portrait, Ayda!
Very original, very well done.
Ciao
Gigi

  • Great 
  • erdna Gold Star Critiquer/Gold Star Workshop Editor/Gold Note Writer [C: 574 W: 62 N: 749] (5437)
  • [2005-11-08 0:16]

Such a beautiful symbolic picture Ayda but the photo and your write-ups is so touchingly sad. Remember that in this world there is nothing permanent. Your feelings of sadness and sorrow will not last long.

Also, I want to thank you for your visit and kind comments on my artwork photo, "At Dawn".

Andre'

Ayda this is one of the best ways to express what you feel and it will help you feel better, your photo is very strong and expressive, things will get better you'll see.
Christine.

points tomorrow I am out right now

  • Great 
  • wck Gold Star Critiquer/Silver Workshop Editor/Gold Note Writer [C: 697 W: 36 N: 423] (3851)
  • [2005-11-11 10:47]

....sorrowful.......................There's will be an End.... The Sun will shine again from your heart. Everthing will be alright, Take a good care.

Rgrds,
Wong

  • Great 
  • harpya Gold Star Critiquer/Gold Star Workshop Editor/Gold Note Writer [C: 6058 W: 174 N: 1935] (7534)
  • [2005-11-13 10:58]

Wonderful I work here,
perfect for me
Congratulations Ayda


Sérgio

A beautiful image, excellent composition. Congratulations for your work and thanks to share it with all we.
We waited for more photos yours like this.

very poetic picture. touching.
u r fantastic.

Hi Ayda,
Photography is a great way to express emotions; what you are thinking and feeling and going through. This is a great picture of mood and thoughts. Thanks for sharing :)

hi Ayda,

just discovered your portraits. very nice and I like the grainy look, the story behind the picture. regards frans

Ayda I know exactly how you feel (or felt, since this was posted so long ago). I have been experiencing serious bouts of depression lately for various reasons, the feeling of hopelessness, the feeling that you are stuck in your own rut. The graininess of the photo, the black and white, and the way you are at the side of the photo covering your face gives the feeling that you are turning away from your camera, trying to hide from the world and showing endless sorrow. You've done an incredible job expressing your feelings. As soon as I saw this, before I read the note, I could identify with it right away. Excellent poem in the note that suits the feelings perfectly (Emily Bronte is a powerful writer). Really emotional, yet it gets right to the point. Thankyou for sharing...
-Lara

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